My Social Dilemma

This may come as a surprise to some, but I am not a very social person. This has always been the case with me. I have always had a circle of friends that kept me in my comfort zone--but in certain situations where social interaction is forced on me, I get very uncomfortable, very quickly. I don't know why this is. My mother is very social, and my dad is somewhat social. as I've grown older, I've become better at utilizing social skills; however, I'm not where I want to be.

In elementary school, pretty girls made me so nervous, I just acted like i hated them (even though i had a crush on half of them). In middle school, I was over my "nervous around girls" phase, but I would avoid general social situations with fervor. In high school, I had my circle of friends--many of which were parts of other circles of friends as well, so social problems were never really an issue in High School. In College, I overcame my social issues by dating women who were super social. it worked fairly well, since each relationship was an exercise in social balance. College is over, and i still date super-social women...but I can't rely on that; I'll be married in a few years. I hated parties, and only went to 2 or 3 clubs.

Side Note: In all honesty, I avoided clubs because i was, and still am, too sophisticated for that. If I offended you, I don't care. Silence yourself.

I have been working on becoming a more social person over the last year or so, and it has worked.....somewhat. I say good morning to strangers, but I don't click very well with some of the people that i see often. There's nothing wrong with them, i just don't have anything to say. I think a big factor is my demeanor. Not only am I sometimes a bit apprehensive about starting a conversation with someone, but my demeanor might cause someone not to want to start a conversation with me as well. I've been told that my demeanor is intimidating. This interpretation is, of course, purely subjective, but more than one person has mentioned that to me.

I never thought I'd really do a post like this. I'm really telling the world about myself here. I get along with my friends excellently; nobody would know I'm somewhat introverted until I'm placed in a situation that forces me to be social. For example, based on how a friend of mine saw me interacting with my friends, she perceived me to be a very social person, until I went to a function at her college. She was looking at me the entire night with a "What's wrong with you?" face. Apparently, prior to the party, she told her friends that I was the "life of the party" and when they saw me not saying much, they were sending her texts DURING the function asking if I were upset about something.

So that's where I stand now. You would never know I'm not very social if you see me with my friends and I'm comfortable. But if I'm forced into a social situation, I become very uncomfortable. Well, world, there it is. Now, you know about me.